I was in law school when the Reese Witherspoon film Legally Blonde was originally released. I saw it in the movie theater twice and owned it from the moment it was released on DVD. I LOVED it. I mean, really, really loved it. I GOT it. I thought that all campy silliness aside, it did a fairly good job of portraying a sorority--especially one that seemed to be pretty closely based on mine, what with the pink and green and the letters being but a quarter turn from actually BEING mine. Several years later, I went to see the Broadway show with my best friend/sorority sister who turned to me during the opening number and said, "We have found it. You have to be in this show." And now, I am. Last weekend and this coming weekend, I am singing and dancing my way through Delta Nu and law school.
And here's the thing...Repeated (and I DO mean repeated) exposure to the show has made me...irritated. Beyond the fact that "I've got a chip on my shoulder, and it's big as a boulder" is one of the most dreadful lyrics ever written, there are truly some things about the show that just grate on my last nerve.
Here's my 10:
1. Omigod, you guys! Stereotype much?--I adore, simply adore the opening number. It nails so many things about a sorority. The excitement. The silliness. The can delighting song. It is spot on. However, from there, the sorority girls degenerate quickly into the most awful stereotypes of sorority girls imaginable. Not that they're flighty and silly--because if I'm being honest, that's a whole lot true. No...what bugs me is that they come across as dumb as a box of hair. Margot, Serena and Pilar are written as not just silly and flighty, but as completely vapid. And really, really stupid. And believe me...it's not like I didn't know girls in my own sorority who were not exactly breaking the bank with their GPA. But as a whole it's just a really lame stereotype. In almost every incidence, Greek women have a higher average GPA than both the all-campus and all-women GPA. I'm just saying.
2. Slut-Shaming 101--This is really a personal pet peeve, but Serena calls Margot a slut. The Greek chorus calls Vivienne a whore. Vivienne refers to Elle's Bunny outfit as her "skank" costume. Ew. I really dislike it. When anyone does it. But especially in a musical that lots of young girls go to see.
3. Elle is an IDIOT--I get that in order to make the point of the show, Elle has to come in and not get the point of law school and all it entails. Which I kind of understand. To some extent, I wasn't completely up on what law school was really going to be like when I started. But I was together enough, having read the packet the law school sent me (which I'm assuming Elle did. She showed up on time to the right class.) which told me what to have prepared for the first day. Then, we know from dialogue that not only does Elle get booted on the first day, but per Warner, EVERY day. I'll allow the first day in Callahan's class...but after that? Then she's just a full-out fool.
4. Speaking of Real Law School--When Warner dumps Elle and she makes the decision to go to Harvard, it's spring semester of her senior year. In the movie, it's much more ambiguous as to exactly when he dumps her. But in the musical, Elle is getting ready to take her LSATs in the spring. It is in the lyrics in as many words. In real life? Not so much. You take the LSATs in your JUNIOR spring, senior fall at the latest. If you're taking it in the spring of your senior year? You've missed the application deadline for law school.
5. What is it that Callahan teaches?--The answer, in short, is CRIMINAL law. Only the case where Elle finally "gets it" just sounds like Family Law. It's about a sperm donor's rights as a father. They throw in the stuff about it not being stalking because he's the father. Which would be a really dumb case because sperm donors don't have rights as a parent, so it's not an affirmative defense to stalking. But really the whole case is a set up to allow her to say "Masturbatory Emissions."
6. Math is Hard--At the beginning of the song "Ireland", Paulette states that her mother was 3/4 Italian and she never knew her father. But then she says her grandfather was from Ireland. Which, I GUESS could be possible if her grandfather's parents were Italian and Irish but both living in Ireland. But she has an Italian last name? So if she didn't have a father then she'd have her mother's last name. Which, again, is Italian. And would have come from her grandfather. Who, according to lyrics? WAS FROM IRELAND. I mean, I can make it work, but I have to go through hoops. As another cast member pointed out, there are a lot of lyrics in this show that make you think that while writing them, they just went, "Ah, screw it...no one will EVER NOTICE. Plus, this RHYMES!"
7. Shit, Elle...GET IT TOGETHER!--Okay, so in the movie, when Vivienne tricks Elle into showing up in costume to the party, Elle leaves and makes tracks to the bookstore where she buys study guides and a laptop and proceeds to become a law school superstar. On her own. In the musical, it takes Emmett dragging her kicking and screaming to do it. Which sets up another pet peeve I have about it which is directly related. When Emmett's making her study, he insists that she stay at Harvard over Christmas Break. Which...law school is like regular school. She would have finished her first semester. What the hell is he making her study?
8. What the blue hell did VIVIENNE do to her?--So, obviously Vivienne is kind of nasty to Elle from the beginning. But Elle's making it her business to, from the moment she arrives on campus, to try to get all over Warner. Warner dumped Elle AT LEAST six months before law school starts. It's not like Vivienne busted up the relationship. It's entirely possible that Vivienne didn't know Elle even existed. And yet Elle blames VIVIENNE not Warner. One more reason Elle is much more irritating in the musical.
9. And since we're speaking of Warner--How in the name of all that exists does WARNER get the internship with Callahan? I get Vivienne and Enid--they are hardcore. And I get Elle. If nothing else, it's to facilitate hitting on her. But Warner? He's bland, doesn't come across as exceptionally clever, and is the opposite of a leader (Viv is totally the boss of him). Of the characters we know something about, Aaron Schultz (Fulbright and Rhodes scholar) or Whitney (her dad's Speaker of the House) seem more apt choices from either an intellectual or connections standpoint.
10. Actually, Callahan's FULL of Stupid Decisions--So he teaches Family Law in his Criminal Law classes and he hires dregs like Warner, but one would think that a man who's running a BILLION dollar law firm, would be able to put together a better team for a defense in a headline-makng murder trial than four 1Ls, a first year attorney who he hasn't even made an associate, and himself.
Oh, in case you were wondering? You have a lot of time to think about things in the ensemble.
Showing posts with label Theater. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Theater. Show all posts
Monday, April 22, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Normal? I don't do normal.
I think that I have lived pretty much every moment of my adult life at one of two speeds: full throttle or going in reverse. In other words, I always feel like I have way too much going on in my life, or I'm so bored that I could scream (or cry). It always shocks people who know me when I tell them that I consider myself to be shy. And I totally get why. If I know you, I'm outgoing and vivacious and I will talk to you for DAYS about pretty much anything. But if I don't? I'm a complete wallflower. This usually manifests itself as a tendency, when thrown into a group of people with whom I'm unfamiliar, to say as little as possible and kind of sink into the floor or my chair if possible. Part of this, especially since moving to New Jersey, has to do with me being self-conscious about my accent. Now in all fairness, I DO have an accent that is not the norm for these parts. Of course, for Sweet Home Alabama, my accent is pretty low key. Anyway, the point of that is to say that when I first moved to NJ seven years ago, I didn't know anybody. I didn't have friends who were already here. I didn't have acquaintances who were already here. Nothing, zip, nada. I think I spent the first three years (I DID have a good friend who moved to NYC my third summer here) staring at the wall. In other words...doing nothing.
So for quite a while, I was kind of on my own. I did get here right as football season was starting and I went into NYC to watch the games with the alumni association. The second year I was here, my sister was nearby and I did pretty much everything with her. It wasn't until the summer of 2009, when I had lived here for almost four years, that I dipped my toes back into the water of community theater. Theater has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember--first as a tiny audience member and then as a small performer and later an adult director/actor/costumer/crew/stage manager. In retrospect, it seems so odd to me. I didn't have any friends, y'all. For ALMOST FOUR YEARS.
I mean, obviously, I had friends. I had friends who came here to visit me and I talked on the phone to people all the time. But as far as a right here with me buddy? None. Which is why I am so, so grateful for discovering the theater community in this area. Y'all...I just want to take a minute to tell you that I have made some of the greatest friends a lady could hope to find. I'm talking about the kinds of friends who will talk you through a crisis, drive you to the airport, let you crash at their place when your power's out from a hurricane for six days and go get you medicine when you're too sick to drive to the pharmacy. I'm talking really awesome friends. And they're not just for crisis mode! There also good for lunch dates, shopping trips, movie nights...you name it, they do it.
That's the first thing I want to say. I have kick-ass friends.
The second thing that's buzzing about the noggin is that whole light-speed life vs. traveling backwards through time life. And it's related to the theater thing, because I think that the theater thing is causing me to experience the former, rather than the latter. I AM SO BUSY. And it's my own fault and I'm glad about everything I'm doing, but...geez.
First of all, I take an adult tap class. It's only the best adult tap class ever. I mean, I've taken an adult tap class before and it was fun, but it wasn't what I'd consider challenging. But this is awesome. It's SUPER fun and it's challenging my little feet right to the limit. Not only is it fun and I get good exercise and all that stuff...we are in the recital! Yep, that's right....come June, you can find me dancing to "It's Your Wedding Day" from The Wedding Singer while wearing an 80s formal dress and tap shoes. Please take a moment to enjoy the mental picture that brings.
THEN, back in December, I auditioned for Avenue Q which I didn't get cast in (we shall never, ever speak of my ineptitude at puppetry), but since I LOVE the company and everyone working on the show, I signed on to be their Assistant Stage Manager. Oh, and I'm also going to be in the ensemble of Legally Blonde (I'm going to have to do a ton of research to play...sorority girl and law student.). And then last week, because I'm a crappy auditioner who has approximately ZERO confidence, I auditioned for Cabaret to get some experience doing an audition for a role that is COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone, but doing it with a director with whom I'm completely comfortable. And then got cast as a part, well, completely out of my comfort zone and unlike ANY I've ever played (you'd be surprised at how rarely people look at me and say, "Yes. Nazi prostitute.").
Anyway, between dancing and ASMing and acting and acting...I am crazy busy. And it's kind of cool. Like a little test of myself to see how well I can handle a completely full plate. I will try to keep you updated. But like I said...freakishly busy. (I'm only here tonight because I skipped dance class 'cause I was feeling not sick, but icky...probably from exhaustion.)
So for quite a while, I was kind of on my own. I did get here right as football season was starting and I went into NYC to watch the games with the alumni association. The second year I was here, my sister was nearby and I did pretty much everything with her. It wasn't until the summer of 2009, when I had lived here for almost four years, that I dipped my toes back into the water of community theater. Theater has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember--first as a tiny audience member and then as a small performer and later an adult director/actor/costumer/crew/stage manager. In retrospect, it seems so odd to me. I didn't have any friends, y'all. For ALMOST FOUR YEARS.
I mean, obviously, I had friends. I had friends who came here to visit me and I talked on the phone to people all the time. But as far as a right here with me buddy? None. Which is why I am so, so grateful for discovering the theater community in this area. Y'all...I just want to take a minute to tell you that I have made some of the greatest friends a lady could hope to find. I'm talking about the kinds of friends who will talk you through a crisis, drive you to the airport, let you crash at their place when your power's out from a hurricane for six days and go get you medicine when you're too sick to drive to the pharmacy. I'm talking really awesome friends. And they're not just for crisis mode! There also good for lunch dates, shopping trips, movie nights...you name it, they do it.
That's the first thing I want to say. I have kick-ass friends.
The second thing that's buzzing about the noggin is that whole light-speed life vs. traveling backwards through time life. And it's related to the theater thing, because I think that the theater thing is causing me to experience the former, rather than the latter. I AM SO BUSY. And it's my own fault and I'm glad about everything I'm doing, but...geez.
First of all, I take an adult tap class. It's only the best adult tap class ever. I mean, I've taken an adult tap class before and it was fun, but it wasn't what I'd consider challenging. But this is awesome. It's SUPER fun and it's challenging my little feet right to the limit. Not only is it fun and I get good exercise and all that stuff...we are in the recital! Yep, that's right....come June, you can find me dancing to "It's Your Wedding Day" from The Wedding Singer while wearing an 80s formal dress and tap shoes. Please take a moment to enjoy the mental picture that brings.
THEN, back in December, I auditioned for Avenue Q which I didn't get cast in (we shall never, ever speak of my ineptitude at puppetry), but since I LOVE the company and everyone working on the show, I signed on to be their Assistant Stage Manager. Oh, and I'm also going to be in the ensemble of Legally Blonde (I'm going to have to do a ton of research to play...sorority girl and law student.). And then last week, because I'm a crappy auditioner who has approximately ZERO confidence, I auditioned for Cabaret to get some experience doing an audition for a role that is COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone, but doing it with a director with whom I'm completely comfortable. And then got cast as a part, well, completely out of my comfort zone and unlike ANY I've ever played (you'd be surprised at how rarely people look at me and say, "Yes. Nazi prostitute.").
Anyway, between dancing and ASMing and acting and acting...I am crazy busy. And it's kind of cool. Like a little test of myself to see how well I can handle a completely full plate. I will try to keep you updated. But like I said...freakishly busy. (I'm only here tonight because I skipped dance class 'cause I was feeling not sick, but icky...probably from exhaustion.)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Like you do....
I am pretty much the opposite of a stranger to weird occurrences and incidents of bizarre coincidence. I'm the only person I know who went to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular at the Fox in Atlanta and left the building as a dancer in a Reese Witherspoon movie. Okay, so it wasn't like I was in the audience and some talent scout just walked up and said, "You look to be a fabulous dancer." and I was cast. What actually happened was that one of the friends who was in the group knew the choreographer for Sweet Home Alabama and he hooked me up with her for the gig. There was also the time I moved to New Jersey and at the first rehearsal for the first community theater show I did here, I met my friend, Beverly. Meeting Bev wasn't weird. What was so odd was that after a few minutes of conversation we realize that her first cousin was one of my sorority sisters at the University of Alabama. And I mean we were there at the same time and knew each other and everything.
Bringing me to this past Thursday. Now, one of the things you need to know about me is that about a year ago, my friend, Judi, who does the lighting design at a lot of the shows at the theater where I perform, asked me if I was up to run the follow-spot for a production of Camelot. I figured, "Why not?". My dear friend, Katie, was in the show. And I had never worked with this particular theater group so it was a good chance to meet people. Since then, I've run follow-spot for two other shows and last weekend and this, I had agreed to run it for a production of Pippin. The other part of the story is that I was incredible busy last Thursday. There was the regular grocery and odds and ends stuff, plus three trips to put together two packages to take to FedEx AND I measured, cut, pinned and ironed a set of light-blocking curtains that were too long (which sounds easier than it is. The fabric is an absolutely enraging combo of heavy and slippery.). I also had an appointment with our frozen food delivery guy (which I'm trying to taper out of because I'm really moving away from processed food as much as I can and that stuff is practically concocted in a lab) and to facilitate that, I completely defrosted and cleaned the BIG basement deep freeze. And in the midst of that, had my voice lesson.
But I was excited, because I was the only one home on Thursday night. Which meant that I didn't have to cook anything and, if I so chose, could go to Wawa for dinner. And then I get a binging that someone is Facebook messaging me. And it's Judi. Because she is running lights for a concert that night and would I be interested in running follow-spot FOR 60s POP ICON AND FORMER MONKEE PETER TORK??!?!?
Y'all. It is official. I am now an assistant lighting engineer for a rock star.
Bringing me to this past Thursday. Now, one of the things you need to know about me is that about a year ago, my friend, Judi, who does the lighting design at a lot of the shows at the theater where I perform, asked me if I was up to run the follow-spot for a production of Camelot. I figured, "Why not?". My dear friend, Katie, was in the show. And I had never worked with this particular theater group so it was a good chance to meet people. Since then, I've run follow-spot for two other shows and last weekend and this, I had agreed to run it for a production of Pippin. The other part of the story is that I was incredible busy last Thursday. There was the regular grocery and odds and ends stuff, plus three trips to put together two packages to take to FedEx AND I measured, cut, pinned and ironed a set of light-blocking curtains that were too long (which sounds easier than it is. The fabric is an absolutely enraging combo of heavy and slippery.). I also had an appointment with our frozen food delivery guy (which I'm trying to taper out of because I'm really moving away from processed food as much as I can and that stuff is practically concocted in a lab) and to facilitate that, I completely defrosted and cleaned the BIG basement deep freeze. And in the midst of that, had my voice lesson.
But I was excited, because I was the only one home on Thursday night. Which meant that I didn't have to cook anything and, if I so chose, could go to Wawa for dinner. And then I get a binging that someone is Facebook messaging me. And it's Judi. Because she is running lights for a concert that night and would I be interested in running follow-spot FOR 60s POP ICON AND FORMER MONKEE PETER TORK??!?!?
Y'all. It is official. I am now an assistant lighting engineer for a rock star.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Baby Dragon in the Theater
I should have known it was going to be Trouble with a Capital "T" when we walked into the theater. Because nothing makes me leery like pre-schoolers sitting behind me at a most decidedly un-preschool show. One of the local community theater groups was producing Aida. Not the Verdi opera, but the Elton John/Tim Rice Disney-produced Broadway musical which premiered on Broadway when I was in law school. Now, first of all, you need to know that I absolutely love this musical. I heard Elton John sing "Written in the Stars" (probably on Rosie O'Donnell) and absolutely fell in love. This was the first non-professional production I had ever seen, but I knew enough of the actors in the show to know that it was more than promising.
But then I ended up sitting in front of Baby Dragons. Baby Dragon is our code for a kid that acts like they were raised by wild dogs (or maybe feral cats). There is a whole (bizarre and hilarious) story behind the genesis of the name, which involves one of my mom's many stories from being a teacher for 40 years. Suffice it to say, it's when a kid's behavior is so far off the charts as to attract the attention of EVERYONE in his or her general vicinity and that's coupled with his or her parent's seeming obliviousness to the situation.
I went to see the show with my awesome voice teacher and his daughter. He had three students in the show and I know four people in the show. And let me say I enjoyed the show immensely. My friend, Meera, played Aida and quite frankly, "wonderful", "amazing", "spectacular", and any number of other superlatives don't do her performance justice. And my friends, Beverly, Mollie and Julia, were all fantastic in the ensemble.
But Baby Dragons? They didn't care. There were three of them. The oldest was probably seven. The other two were probably three and five. To be fair, there are probably any number of children that age who would happily sit through a 2+ hour theatrical production. My niece and nephew are among them. Hell, when I was that age I would have been among them. When I was younger than that, my great-aunt and uncle took me to see one of my cousins in an opera and I allegedly didn't move a muscle or make a peep the entire time. I also have the very vaguest of memories of, because of a baby-sitter snafu, ending up, at the age of 2, at a production of Camelot with my parents. And having just run follow-spot for that exact show, I will tell you that it's long as all get-out. And my mom says that I absolutely adored it and never made a peep. But, and this is a huge "but", when the show was in it's Broadway run, there was an age-requirement to be allowed into the house. And that's with good reason. First of all, it deals with rather adult themes. And it's based on the Verdi opera, so there's gonna be carnage. Like, bodies on the stage and everything. Also, it's very, VERY quiet in a few places. You know that moment in the theater where you can feel the entire audience hold their breath? Yeah, that moment. That moment which doesn't need a preschooler yelling, "IS THE PRINCESS GONNA DIE?"
The first act was a veritable circus behind us. Talking. Sometimes about the show. Sometimes not. Seat-kicking. Hair-pulling. Moving from one seat to another. And the worst part? The parents did little, if anything to stop any of it. Each time a question was posed, rather than whisper, "I'll explain later, now be quiet." the parents launched into a full-scale, although relatively low-volume explanation. And when one of them snagged a handful of my hair, I heard, "Oh, sorry!" and not "If you touch anyone else, we're leaving." I guess maybe my expectations are super-high. I mean, like I said, I come from a family of theater-lovers. We've all been to shows from the time we could toddle. However, we knew (and as for my nephew and niece, currently KNOW) that if we talked, wiggled or otherwise disturbed people, we were being hauled almost immediately to the lobby. I'm talking one warning and we were out. The only known exception to this was last Christmas when my sister-in-law and I took the kids to see The Nutcracker and Gracie (2 1/2 at the time) got antsy in the second half because ALL OF THE BATHROOMS were flooded and unusable. Kelly ended up sitting with Gracie in her lap with her hand over the kid's mouth.
If I could have gotten up and out and was willing to miss part of the show (And I wasn't. The tickets for this were about half-again as much as they usually are, due to the tres expensive royalties) I would have done something about it during the first act. As it was, I knew the House Manager for the performance, so I found him at intermission. He provided the Baby Dragons with
So on behalf of the rest of the audience, the actors on the stage, the production staff, the ushers, here are some rules for Non-Theater-Type Parents when taking Junior to a show:
1. Research. Please, please, please research the show you are seeing. Call the box office and ask how long it is. Get on wikipedia and find out if it's something a kid would be interested in or even understand. Read about the show and determine if it's appropriate for a child.
2. Just because Aunt Susie or Cousin Bob is in the show, doesn't mean Junior should see it.
3. KNOW YOUR KID!! Like I said, I am pretty sure that either Jackson or Gracie would have happily watched Aida without a sound. And I know there are other kids who would be the same. But, frankly, I think they are the exception rather than the rule. But the great thing about theater is that there are hundreds, THOUSANDS of different shows. So there's always something coming up that a kid would like! At this theater, the show before last was Camelot--very family friendly (albeit long). Last show was Urinetown, which was GREAT but probably over the head of most kids under 12 (although nothing that I wouldn't let a younger kid see). Coming up in the spring? The Wizard of Oz! And many theaters have, in addition to the regular season of shows, a "kids' season" as well. These are often shorter versions of fairytales or something similar. These are perfect to test the waters with your kid. A good next step is the Golden Age musicals like Oklahoma, Annie, or The Sound of Music. If those float your kid's boat, then you can move on to more adventurous fare.
4. Talk BEFORE you get there. First, about theater etiquette. Things like whispering if you have an emergency, but waiting to really talk until intermission. Using the restroom before the proceedings get underway so you don't disturb the other audience members. Sitting still. Second, talk about the show you're going to see. If there's a movie version, by all means watch it! Last year, when I bought the tickets for The Nutcracker I also sent Jackson and Gracie DVDs of both the Care Bear's Nutcracker and The Nutcracker featuring the New York City Ballet. Even at two and four, the kids were able to absorb enough of the plot to be excited about the show!
5. Have lunch/dinner before you go! Most theaters are not fans of food in the house. However, in an emergency melt-down situation, a non-noisy food (I like gummi bears) is permissible IF it's done discreetly and quietly. No rattly paper or plastic, please, please, please! I have some little cloth bags that I got when I bought jewelry at Anthropologie that would be PERFECT. A small plastic bowl with a top would be great, too (as long as the snack didn't rattle around in it).
6. Even if no one needs the bathroom at intermission, get up and walk around! Talk about the theater itself. Maybe you can go look at the orchestra pit. Or look up at the lights and talk about how they are part of the whole production. Answer and ask questions about the show so far.
7. If there is talking, wiggling or other mayhem, institute a one warning policy. The theater is exciting so it's easy to forget, especially for little guys! Go over the rules before the show starts, but after a quiet reminder of no talking/sitting still/no touching doesn't work, it's time to head to the lobby. Believe me, I understand that it really sucks for Mom/Dad/Aunt/Grandparent to miss the show, but sometimes that's the deal.
8. This isn't so much just for the people with kids, but it's a personal pet peeve. I know that when the last number ends and the curtain call starts, that there is a temptation to duck out while the actors are making their bows. Please don't. This is one of the rudest things an audience can do to a performer. It may mean you have to stand in the aisles for a few minutes as the audience disperses, but you liked the show, right? Well, this is your chance to show the actors how you appreciate them sharing their talents with you!
9. Lots of companies either have a stage door where you can meet the cast afterwards or the cast comes to the lobby or house after they change. Kids LOVE this. And many actors love meeting their young fans! Especially in an amateur production, the actors get a real charge out of signing programs and shaking hands with little folks and it's a great way to get kids comfortable with the theater in general, when they see that up close the characters from the stage are just people!
So, in short, plan it out! The performing arts-theater, dance, music--have had a huge impact on my life since I was a very small girl. My parents cultivated a love and appreciation while they maintained a certain expectation of my behavior. I think that the theater is for EVERYONE from the littlest kid to the oldest great-grandmother. Preparing your young audience member is an excellent step in making it enjoyable for everyone involved!
But then I ended up sitting in front of Baby Dragons. Baby Dragon is our code for a kid that acts like they were raised by wild dogs (or maybe feral cats). There is a whole (bizarre and hilarious) story behind the genesis of the name, which involves one of my mom's many stories from being a teacher for 40 years. Suffice it to say, it's when a kid's behavior is so far off the charts as to attract the attention of EVERYONE in his or her general vicinity and that's coupled with his or her parent's seeming obliviousness to the situation.
I went to see the show with my awesome voice teacher and his daughter. He had three students in the show and I know four people in the show. And let me say I enjoyed the show immensely. My friend, Meera, played Aida and quite frankly, "wonderful", "amazing", "spectacular", and any number of other superlatives don't do her performance justice. And my friends, Beverly, Mollie and Julia, were all fantastic in the ensemble.
But Baby Dragons? They didn't care. There were three of them. The oldest was probably seven. The other two were probably three and five. To be fair, there are probably any number of children that age who would happily sit through a 2+ hour theatrical production. My niece and nephew are among them. Hell, when I was that age I would have been among them. When I was younger than that, my great-aunt and uncle took me to see one of my cousins in an opera and I allegedly didn't move a muscle or make a peep the entire time. I also have the very vaguest of memories of, because of a baby-sitter snafu, ending up, at the age of 2, at a production of Camelot with my parents. And having just run follow-spot for that exact show, I will tell you that it's long as all get-out. And my mom says that I absolutely adored it and never made a peep. But, and this is a huge "but", when the show was in it's Broadway run, there was an age-requirement to be allowed into the house. And that's with good reason. First of all, it deals with rather adult themes. And it's based on the Verdi opera, so there's gonna be carnage. Like, bodies on the stage and everything. Also, it's very, VERY quiet in a few places. You know that moment in the theater where you can feel the entire audience hold their breath? Yeah, that moment. That moment which doesn't need a preschooler yelling, "IS THE PRINCESS GONNA DIE?"
The first act was a veritable circus behind us. Talking. Sometimes about the show. Sometimes not. Seat-kicking. Hair-pulling. Moving from one seat to another. And the worst part? The parents did little, if anything to stop any of it. Each time a question was posed, rather than whisper, "I'll explain later, now be quiet." the parents launched into a full-scale, although relatively low-volume explanation. And when one of them snagged a handful of my hair, I heard, "Oh, sorry!" and not "If you touch anyone else, we're leaving." I guess maybe my expectations are super-high. I mean, like I said, I come from a family of theater-lovers. We've all been to shows from the time we could toddle. However, we knew (and as for my nephew and niece, currently KNOW) that if we talked, wiggled or otherwise disturbed people, we were being hauled almost immediately to the lobby. I'm talking one warning and we were out. The only known exception to this was last Christmas when my sister-in-law and I took the kids to see The Nutcracker and Gracie (2 1/2 at the time) got antsy in the second half because ALL OF THE BATHROOMS were flooded and unusable. Kelly ended up sitting with Gracie in her lap with her hand over the kid's mouth.
If I could have gotten up and out and was willing to miss part of the show (And I wasn't. The tickets for this were about half-again as much as they usually are, due to the tres expensive royalties) I would have done something about it during the first act. As it was, I knew the House Manager for the performance, so I found him at intermission. He provided the Baby Dragons with
So on behalf of the rest of the audience, the actors on the stage, the production staff, the ushers, here are some rules for Non-Theater-Type Parents when taking Junior to a show:
1. Research. Please, please, please research the show you are seeing. Call the box office and ask how long it is. Get on wikipedia and find out if it's something a kid would be interested in or even understand. Read about the show and determine if it's appropriate for a child.
2. Just because Aunt Susie or Cousin Bob is in the show, doesn't mean Junior should see it.
3. KNOW YOUR KID!! Like I said, I am pretty sure that either Jackson or Gracie would have happily watched Aida without a sound. And I know there are other kids who would be the same. But, frankly, I think they are the exception rather than the rule. But the great thing about theater is that there are hundreds, THOUSANDS of different shows. So there's always something coming up that a kid would like! At this theater, the show before last was Camelot--very family friendly (albeit long). Last show was Urinetown, which was GREAT but probably over the head of most kids under 12 (although nothing that I wouldn't let a younger kid see). Coming up in the spring? The Wizard of Oz! And many theaters have, in addition to the regular season of shows, a "kids' season" as well. These are often shorter versions of fairytales or something similar. These are perfect to test the waters with your kid. A good next step is the Golden Age musicals like Oklahoma, Annie, or The Sound of Music. If those float your kid's boat, then you can move on to more adventurous fare.
4. Talk BEFORE you get there. First, about theater etiquette. Things like whispering if you have an emergency, but waiting to really talk until intermission. Using the restroom before the proceedings get underway so you don't disturb the other audience members. Sitting still. Second, talk about the show you're going to see. If there's a movie version, by all means watch it! Last year, when I bought the tickets for The Nutcracker I also sent Jackson and Gracie DVDs of both the Care Bear's Nutcracker and The Nutcracker featuring the New York City Ballet. Even at two and four, the kids were able to absorb enough of the plot to be excited about the show!
5. Have lunch/dinner before you go! Most theaters are not fans of food in the house. However, in an emergency melt-down situation, a non-noisy food (I like gummi bears) is permissible IF it's done discreetly and quietly. No rattly paper or plastic, please, please, please! I have some little cloth bags that I got when I bought jewelry at Anthropologie that would be PERFECT. A small plastic bowl with a top would be great, too (as long as the snack didn't rattle around in it).
6. Even if no one needs the bathroom at intermission, get up and walk around! Talk about the theater itself. Maybe you can go look at the orchestra pit. Or look up at the lights and talk about how they are part of the whole production. Answer and ask questions about the show so far.
7. If there is talking, wiggling or other mayhem, institute a one warning policy. The theater is exciting so it's easy to forget, especially for little guys! Go over the rules before the show starts, but after a quiet reminder of no talking/sitting still/no touching doesn't work, it's time to head to the lobby. Believe me, I understand that it really sucks for Mom/Dad/Aunt/Grandparent to miss the show, but sometimes that's the deal.
8. This isn't so much just for the people with kids, but it's a personal pet peeve. I know that when the last number ends and the curtain call starts, that there is a temptation to duck out while the actors are making their bows. Please don't. This is one of the rudest things an audience can do to a performer. It may mean you have to stand in the aisles for a few minutes as the audience disperses, but you liked the show, right? Well, this is your chance to show the actors how you appreciate them sharing their talents with you!
9. Lots of companies either have a stage door where you can meet the cast afterwards or the cast comes to the lobby or house after they change. Kids LOVE this. And many actors love meeting their young fans! Especially in an amateur production, the actors get a real charge out of signing programs and shaking hands with little folks and it's a great way to get kids comfortable with the theater in general, when they see that up close the characters from the stage are just people!
So, in short, plan it out! The performing arts-theater, dance, music--have had a huge impact on my life since I was a very small girl. My parents cultivated a love and appreciation while they maintained a certain expectation of my behavior. I think that the theater is for EVERYONE from the littlest kid to the oldest great-grandmother. Preparing your young audience member is an excellent step in making it enjoyable for everyone involved!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thirty Minutes of Wonderful: My Northern Steel Magnolias
I was in my first theatrical production--it involved the children's choir of the First United Methodist Church of Gadsden, Alabama--when I was six. By the time I was ten, I had moved on to the local community theater. I have dabbled ever since.
Okay, "dabbled" isn't the right word. "Dabbled" implies that I did it casually or on occasion which while true for some years, doesn't even begin to cover most. I have done costume design and worked box office and built sets and served on the production committee and directed and choreographed and been on the board of directors and stage managedan. All of it. Sometimes more that one of those things at a time. But mostly, I've performed.
When I moved to New Jersey in 2005, I was coming off a period of four straight years where I had been involved, usually on stage, with community theater productions. And it's not like I told myself I was going to take a break. It just sort of happened. For one thing, having worked almost exclusively with various theaters within a thirty mile radius of my hometown, I guess I was shy. Even though I'm really not. It was the idea of, at the age of thirty, suddenly being....well, without a net. It was so strange--the idea of walking into an audition where I didn't know a director or musical director or choreographer or even another actor auditioning--that I just left it alone.
And then two years ago, almost exactly two years ago, in fact, I went to see my friend, Allison, in her show that was going out on tour. She had been cast in an Equity children's show which was going to tour the west coast and their first show as they made their way west was going to be at the local community college. Of course, I couldn't miss this, so on Valentine's Day afternoon, I, along with about 200 mothers and preschoolers, filed into a theater to watch If You Give a Pig a Pancake. But fate being what it is, I was also handed a brochure that outlined all of the OTHER shows--community and college--that were being performed. And lo and behold, right there in July--Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now, to be honest, it's not, when taken purely on its own merits, one of my favorites, but I must admit that the one time I had done it was one of my favorite experiences. And for that reason alone, it will always hold a special place in my heart. And so, with sweaty palms and a hammering heart I waited until the auditions were officially announced and scheduled one. And the rest is history. I loved it. I met some REALLY great people. And I was once again in the whirl of the community theater world.
Which brings me to now. Now, I am preparing to play Shelby in Steel Magnolias. It's my fifth New Jersey show. And I have loved them all. But I can't help but think that THIS show is going to be one of those--like the original Joseph, and the first time I did Godspell, and Little Women--that I will hold dearly in my heart forever.
I'm pretty sure that part of it is that I am so far from the world it portrays. And that for a few hours a few times a week, I can imagine that I am immersed in the gentle rhythms and molasses in January pace of a small, southern town again. Or maybe it's that, more than any other show I've ever done, I GET this one. I grew up--and I mean from the time I first sat in a beautician's chair until the day I moved away--getting my hair done at a place where I knew everybody. Where the lady (and she was and is a lady in the truest sense of the word) who cut and styled and washed was a FRIEND. She had known my mother before I was born. Her kids were in my mother's class when they were in third grade. And she always had the best, the most entertaining, the absolute most intriguing stories of what was happening in town. The grand dames of the play--Ouiser and Clairee--my great-aunts and the ladies at my church. I am pretty sure that given the chance, my dad and brother would LOVE to strap firecrackers to a bow and arrow and shoot it into the trees. And then there's M'Lynn and Shelby. Ok, so I don't have diabetes. But that relationship--there are so many little things that come so easily because I can see my mother and I having, if not that exact conversation, then something eerily similar. And Shelby herself--the pink, the sorority, the slightly snarky side that made her FIRST notice Jackson because of his non-existent dancing prowess--I just get her.
I am the resident expert on pronunciation--"oil" and "syrup" and "New Orleans" and "Karo". Knowing that it's not "cola" or "Coca-cola" but most definitely "co-cola". I don't even question that Clairee is obsessed with football. OF COURSE Ouiser grows tomatoes--didn't my own grandmother do the same every summer?
And the ladies in the show with me...oh, I must use southern superlatives--the cutest, most precious, loveliest, sweetest ladies you could imagine. And so, for a couple of months, I am in sweet home Alabama. Ok, Louisiana, but close enough.
Okay, "dabbled" isn't the right word. "Dabbled" implies that I did it casually or on occasion which while true for some years, doesn't even begin to cover most. I have done costume design and worked box office and built sets and served on the production committee and directed and choreographed and been on the board of directors and stage managedan. All of it. Sometimes more that one of those things at a time. But mostly, I've performed.
When I moved to New Jersey in 2005, I was coming off a period of four straight years where I had been involved, usually on stage, with community theater productions. And it's not like I told myself I was going to take a break. It just sort of happened. For one thing, having worked almost exclusively with various theaters within a thirty mile radius of my hometown, I guess I was shy. Even though I'm really not. It was the idea of, at the age of thirty, suddenly being....well, without a net. It was so strange--the idea of walking into an audition where I didn't know a director or musical director or choreographer or even another actor auditioning--that I just left it alone.
And then two years ago, almost exactly two years ago, in fact, I went to see my friend, Allison, in her show that was going out on tour. She had been cast in an Equity children's show which was going to tour the west coast and their first show as they made their way west was going to be at the local community college. Of course, I couldn't miss this, so on Valentine's Day afternoon, I, along with about 200 mothers and preschoolers, filed into a theater to watch If You Give a Pig a Pancake. But fate being what it is, I was also handed a brochure that outlined all of the OTHER shows--community and college--that were being performed. And lo and behold, right there in July--Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now, to be honest, it's not, when taken purely on its own merits, one of my favorites, but I must admit that the one time I had done it was one of my favorite experiences. And for that reason alone, it will always hold a special place in my heart. And so, with sweaty palms and a hammering heart I waited until the auditions were officially announced and scheduled one. And the rest is history. I loved it. I met some REALLY great people. And I was once again in the whirl of the community theater world.
Which brings me to now. Now, I am preparing to play Shelby in Steel Magnolias. It's my fifth New Jersey show. And I have loved them all. But I can't help but think that THIS show is going to be one of those--like the original Joseph, and the first time I did Godspell, and Little Women--that I will hold dearly in my heart forever.
I'm pretty sure that part of it is that I am so far from the world it portrays. And that for a few hours a few times a week, I can imagine that I am immersed in the gentle rhythms and molasses in January pace of a small, southern town again. Or maybe it's that, more than any other show I've ever done, I GET this one. I grew up--and I mean from the time I first sat in a beautician's chair until the day I moved away--getting my hair done at a place where I knew everybody. Where the lady (and she was and is a lady in the truest sense of the word) who cut and styled and washed was a FRIEND. She had known my mother before I was born. Her kids were in my mother's class when they were in third grade. And she always had the best, the most entertaining, the absolute most intriguing stories of what was happening in town. The grand dames of the play--Ouiser and Clairee--my great-aunts and the ladies at my church. I am pretty sure that given the chance, my dad and brother would LOVE to strap firecrackers to a bow and arrow and shoot it into the trees. And then there's M'Lynn and Shelby. Ok, so I don't have diabetes. But that relationship--there are so many little things that come so easily because I can see my mother and I having, if not that exact conversation, then something eerily similar. And Shelby herself--the pink, the sorority, the slightly snarky side that made her FIRST notice Jackson because of his non-existent dancing prowess--I just get her.
I am the resident expert on pronunciation--"oil" and "syrup" and "New Orleans" and "Karo". Knowing that it's not "cola" or "Coca-cola" but most definitely "co-cola". I don't even question that Clairee is obsessed with football. OF COURSE Ouiser grows tomatoes--didn't my own grandmother do the same every summer?
And the ladies in the show with me...oh, I must use southern superlatives--the cutest, most precious, loveliest, sweetest ladies you could imagine. And so, for a couple of months, I am in sweet home Alabama. Ok, Louisiana, but close enough.
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