I think that I have lived pretty much every moment of my adult life at one of two speeds: full throttle or going in reverse. In other words, I always feel like I have way too much going on in my life, or I'm so bored that I could scream (or cry). It always shocks people who know me when I tell them that I consider myself to be shy. And I totally get why. If I know you, I'm outgoing and vivacious and I will talk to you for DAYS about pretty much anything. But if I don't? I'm a complete wallflower. This usually manifests itself as a tendency, when thrown into a group of people with whom I'm unfamiliar, to say as little as possible and kind of sink into the floor or my chair if possible. Part of this, especially since moving to New Jersey, has to do with me being self-conscious about my accent. Now in all fairness, I DO have an accent that is not the norm for these parts. Of course, for Sweet Home Alabama, my accent is pretty low key. Anyway, the point of that is to say that when I first moved to NJ seven years ago, I didn't know anybody. I didn't have friends who were already here. I didn't have acquaintances who were already here. Nothing, zip, nada. I think I spent the first three years (I DID have a good friend who moved to NYC my third summer here) staring at the wall. In other words...doing nothing.
So for quite a while, I was kind of on my own. I did get here right as football season was starting and I went into NYC to watch the games with the alumni association. The second year I was here, my sister was nearby and I did pretty much everything with her. It wasn't until the summer of 2009, when I had lived here for almost four years, that I dipped my toes back into the water of community theater. Theater has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember--first as a tiny audience member and then as a small performer and later an adult director/actor/costumer/crew/stage manager. In retrospect, it seems so odd to me. I didn't have any friends, y'all. For ALMOST FOUR YEARS.
I mean, obviously, I had friends. I had friends who came here to visit me and I talked on the phone to people all the time. But as far as a right here with me buddy? None. Which is why I am so, so grateful for discovering the theater community in this area. Y'all...I just want to take a minute to tell you that I have made some of the greatest friends a lady could hope to find. I'm talking about the kinds of friends who will talk you through a crisis, drive you to the airport, let you crash at their place when your power's out from a hurricane for six days and go get you medicine when you're too sick to drive to the pharmacy. I'm talking really awesome friends. And they're not just for crisis mode! There also good for lunch dates, shopping trips, movie nights...you name it, they do it.
That's the first thing I want to say. I have kick-ass friends.
The second thing that's buzzing about the noggin is that whole light-speed life vs. traveling backwards through time life. And it's related to the theater thing, because I think that the theater thing is causing me to experience the former, rather than the latter. I AM SO BUSY. And it's my own fault and I'm glad about everything I'm doing, but...geez.
First of all, I take an adult tap class. It's only the best adult tap class ever. I mean, I've taken an adult tap class before and it was fun, but it wasn't what I'd consider challenging. But this is awesome. It's SUPER fun and it's challenging my little feet right to the limit. Not only is it fun and I get good exercise and all that stuff...we are in the recital! Yep, that's right....come June, you can find me dancing to "It's Your Wedding Day" from The Wedding Singer while wearing an 80s formal dress and tap shoes. Please take a moment to enjoy the mental picture that brings.
THEN, back in December, I auditioned for Avenue Q which I didn't get cast in (we shall never, ever speak of my ineptitude at puppetry), but since I LOVE the company and everyone working on the show, I signed on to be their Assistant Stage Manager. Oh, and I'm also going to be in the ensemble of Legally Blonde (I'm going to have to do a ton of research to play...sorority girl and law student.). And then last week, because I'm a crappy auditioner who has approximately ZERO confidence, I auditioned for Cabaret to get some experience doing an audition for a role that is COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone, but doing it with a director with whom I'm completely comfortable. And then got cast as a part, well, completely out of my comfort zone and unlike ANY I've ever played (you'd be surprised at how rarely people look at me and say, "Yes. Nazi prostitute.").
Anyway, between dancing and ASMing and acting and acting...I am crazy busy. And it's kind of cool. Like a little test of myself to see how well I can handle a completely full plate. I will try to keep you updated. But like I said...freakishly busy. (I'm only here tonight because I skipped dance class 'cause I was feeling not sick, but icky...probably from exhaustion.)
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Like you do....
I am pretty much the opposite of a stranger to weird occurrences and incidents of bizarre coincidence. I'm the only person I know who went to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular at the Fox in Atlanta and left the building as a dancer in a Reese Witherspoon movie. Okay, so it wasn't like I was in the audience and some talent scout just walked up and said, "You look to be a fabulous dancer." and I was cast. What actually happened was that one of the friends who was in the group knew the choreographer for Sweet Home Alabama and he hooked me up with her for the gig. There was also the time I moved to New Jersey and at the first rehearsal for the first community theater show I did here, I met my friend, Beverly. Meeting Bev wasn't weird. What was so odd was that after a few minutes of conversation we realize that her first cousin was one of my sorority sisters at the University of Alabama. And I mean we were there at the same time and knew each other and everything.
Bringing me to this past Thursday. Now, one of the things you need to know about me is that about a year ago, my friend, Judi, who does the lighting design at a lot of the shows at the theater where I perform, asked me if I was up to run the follow-spot for a production of Camelot. I figured, "Why not?". My dear friend, Katie, was in the show. And I had never worked with this particular theater group so it was a good chance to meet people. Since then, I've run follow-spot for two other shows and last weekend and this, I had agreed to run it for a production of Pippin. The other part of the story is that I was incredible busy last Thursday. There was the regular grocery and odds and ends stuff, plus three trips to put together two packages to take to FedEx AND I measured, cut, pinned and ironed a set of light-blocking curtains that were too long (which sounds easier than it is. The fabric is an absolutely enraging combo of heavy and slippery.). I also had an appointment with our frozen food delivery guy (which I'm trying to taper out of because I'm really moving away from processed food as much as I can and that stuff is practically concocted in a lab) and to facilitate that, I completely defrosted and cleaned the BIG basement deep freeze. And in the midst of that, had my voice lesson.
But I was excited, because I was the only one home on Thursday night. Which meant that I didn't have to cook anything and, if I so chose, could go to Wawa for dinner. And then I get a binging that someone is Facebook messaging me. And it's Judi. Because she is running lights for a concert that night and would I be interested in running follow-spot FOR 60s POP ICON AND FORMER MONKEE PETER TORK??!?!?
Y'all. It is official. I am now an assistant lighting engineer for a rock star.
Bringing me to this past Thursday. Now, one of the things you need to know about me is that about a year ago, my friend, Judi, who does the lighting design at a lot of the shows at the theater where I perform, asked me if I was up to run the follow-spot for a production of Camelot. I figured, "Why not?". My dear friend, Katie, was in the show. And I had never worked with this particular theater group so it was a good chance to meet people. Since then, I've run follow-spot for two other shows and last weekend and this, I had agreed to run it for a production of Pippin. The other part of the story is that I was incredible busy last Thursday. There was the regular grocery and odds and ends stuff, plus three trips to put together two packages to take to FedEx AND I measured, cut, pinned and ironed a set of light-blocking curtains that were too long (which sounds easier than it is. The fabric is an absolutely enraging combo of heavy and slippery.). I also had an appointment with our frozen food delivery guy (which I'm trying to taper out of because I'm really moving away from processed food as much as I can and that stuff is practically concocted in a lab) and to facilitate that, I completely defrosted and cleaned the BIG basement deep freeze. And in the midst of that, had my voice lesson.
But I was excited, because I was the only one home on Thursday night. Which meant that I didn't have to cook anything and, if I so chose, could go to Wawa for dinner. And then I get a binging that someone is Facebook messaging me. And it's Judi. Because she is running lights for a concert that night and would I be interested in running follow-spot FOR 60s POP ICON AND FORMER MONKEE PETER TORK??!?!?
Y'all. It is official. I am now an assistant lighting engineer for a rock star.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Reinventions
I am...relatively small. I mean, compared to most humans--at least American humans--I am pretty short and pretty slight. That said, I, like many people, have what I consider to be my maximum density. I talked to someone about this one time. "This" being that I am quite obviously, not obese. I wear a size 4 most of the time. Sometimes a 2. Occasionally a 6. And I was telling this friend how I had been talking about how I had started to edge up to the point where instead of taking a 2 and 4 to the dressing room to try, I was taking a 4 and 6. The person I was talking to (not the friend to whom I was telling the story about the talking) was...very offended. I know that I should be grateful that I am able to maintain a fairly constant weight when I eat the way I do much of the time. And I am. I'm glad that I came back from more than a week at Walt Disney World, where I ate like a 14-year old boy, weighing exactly two pounds heavier. Although when you are just 5'3", two pounds can mean an appreciable difference in how your clothes fit. And I get that if you are person who has struggled with weight that someone complaining about theirs when the biggest size they've ever worn is an 8 could be frustrating. But it's like K says..."You do you."
So here's me doing me. I am ten pounds heavier than the heaviest I like to be. Part of that, I know is that I've worked with a personal trainer for more than a year and have put on a huge amount of muscle. The problem is that the muscle is trapped under a small layer of...not muscle. I have freakishly huge calves which I like to say are a beautiful combination of pasty and doughy (I really am one of the whitest people I know). My back looks awesome. My backSIDE less so. My chest and shoulders definitely pass muster, but my upper arms are not as hot. As for my middle? I have core muscles for days. And if you press on the flabbiness that covers them, you can totally fee; that were the flab to melt away, I would have, if not a six-pack, then a fairly decent four-pack. The less said about my thighs the better.
And I feel kind of stuck. Like even if I work out like a fiend, I'm at one of those weird plateau places. And I'm not. moving. at. all. Which has been fine for the past few weeks. A little over a month ago, I went to my friend, Katie's wedding. I wore 4 inch heels. I drank like a fool (and that included the handy tequila shots that were passed at the cocktail hour). I did dance moves including, but not limited to, actual routines that I had learned in Zumba. And it was awesome and fun and I made it home unscathed. Of course, the next afternoon, I am walking straight, in flats, without a drink in sight and manage to sprain my ankle more severely than I have since the unfortunate Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Rehearsal Fall-Down Fail of 1998.
Which brings me to this. I have a friend (and one who knows what she's doing) who once told me that if you are someone who normally loses weight easily and quickly but you get to a plateau and no matter what you do, the weight's not going in either direction, then it's time for a cleanse. She used to do the Master Cleanse on occasion. I am going to try it. Of course, she was super healthy most of the time anyway and would just do it after the holidays to get herself readjusted. This means that she would go straight into the actual cleanse. And this is the thing where you drink water and lemon juice and cayenne pepper and molasses. Which sounds disgusting to me, but most people I know who've done it say it's really not that bad. Instead of going right to that, which would probably throw my poor system into a seizure, I am going to do the "Ease-in". I'm also not gonna cleanse for a month or anything crazy. Three days is the minimum. I think I'm gonna try five. We'll see. I'm not a fan of posting my weight or measurements. Although I do plan to take a picture and post it. A picture WHERE I AM WEARING A BATHING SUIT. So instead of post in weight and measurements, we'll say that today I weigh X pounds and my measurements are X inches. And from here on out, I'll call my weight (I hope) X-however much i've lost.
Tomorrow is fruits and vegetables only. Which sounds awesome. Until you know that they have to be raw. Which I don't necessarily hate. But that's a lot of raw vegetables and fruits with NOTHING on them. And here's the kicker...no caffeine. Only water and herbal tea. Yeah, it's entirely possible that I lose my mind completely.
So here's me doing me. I am ten pounds heavier than the heaviest I like to be. Part of that, I know is that I've worked with a personal trainer for more than a year and have put on a huge amount of muscle. The problem is that the muscle is trapped under a small layer of...not muscle. I have freakishly huge calves which I like to say are a beautiful combination of pasty and doughy (I really am one of the whitest people I know). My back looks awesome. My backSIDE less so. My chest and shoulders definitely pass muster, but my upper arms are not as hot. As for my middle? I have core muscles for days. And if you press on the flabbiness that covers them, you can totally fee; that were the flab to melt away, I would have, if not a six-pack, then a fairly decent four-pack. The less said about my thighs the better.
And I feel kind of stuck. Like even if I work out like a fiend, I'm at one of those weird plateau places. And I'm not. moving. at. all. Which has been fine for the past few weeks. A little over a month ago, I went to my friend, Katie's wedding. I wore 4 inch heels. I drank like a fool (and that included the handy tequila shots that were passed at the cocktail hour). I did dance moves including, but not limited to, actual routines that I had learned in Zumba. And it was awesome and fun and I made it home unscathed. Of course, the next afternoon, I am walking straight, in flats, without a drink in sight and manage to sprain my ankle more severely than I have since the unfortunate Seven Brides for Seven Brothers Rehearsal Fall-Down Fail of 1998.
Which brings me to this. I have a friend (and one who knows what she's doing) who once told me that if you are someone who normally loses weight easily and quickly but you get to a plateau and no matter what you do, the weight's not going in either direction, then it's time for a cleanse. She used to do the Master Cleanse on occasion. I am going to try it. Of course, she was super healthy most of the time anyway and would just do it after the holidays to get herself readjusted. This means that she would go straight into the actual cleanse. And this is the thing where you drink water and lemon juice and cayenne pepper and molasses. Which sounds disgusting to me, but most people I know who've done it say it's really not that bad. Instead of going right to that, which would probably throw my poor system into a seizure, I am going to do the "Ease-in". I'm also not gonna cleanse for a month or anything crazy. Three days is the minimum. I think I'm gonna try five. We'll see. I'm not a fan of posting my weight or measurements. Although I do plan to take a picture and post it. A picture WHERE I AM WEARING A BATHING SUIT. So instead of post in weight and measurements, we'll say that today I weigh X pounds and my measurements are X inches. And from here on out, I'll call my weight (I hope) X-however much i've lost.
Tomorrow is fruits and vegetables only. Which sounds awesome. Until you know that they have to be raw. Which I don't necessarily hate. But that's a lot of raw vegetables and fruits with NOTHING on them. And here's the kicker...no caffeine. Only water and herbal tea. Yeah, it's entirely possible that I lose my mind completely.
Weird. Life is weird. And also chaotic.
I said it earlier this month. Life feels...weird. I don't know if it's the changing of seasons (which, by the way, can't seem to commit to changing) or what, but I've felt for a while that except for a few incidents where I am specifically engaged in a specific activity doing specific things and whatnot, that it's like life is happening, but I'm not happening with it. I hope that makes sense. I don't even know if it makes sense to me. So maybe it REALLY doesn't make sense to anyone else. Of course, it may just be that I've got so many THINGS happening at this very second, that I can't focus on any one of them long enough to really feel engaged. May and December are always hard. As a nanny (even as a nanny to very grown-up persons) they are spectacularly busy. Moving in and out of dorms and finishing the school year and doctors' and dentists' appointments and packing for trips. It's...a lot. And due to several things, this year is particularly "fun"-filled. I'vve also immersed myself in a kind a peresonal reorganization. Actually, this started way long in the past. The closet reorganization and clean-out started last November. The weekend of the Iron Bowl, to be precise. And I know this specifically because I was decoupaging a bookcase to go in my closet and became so engrossed in Alabama taking Auburn to the woodshed that I put a paintbrush full of ModPodge into my beer. Suffice it to say I have gotten rid of bags and bags of clothes. I thought about taking them to the consignment shop in town, but then I remembered how awesome it is to find something super-cool in a thrift store and I took them to Goodwill. It felt especially refreshing since our closest Goodwill was flooded completely during last September's hurricane and they lost literally ALL of their merchandise. AND I have a theory that doing that makes good thrifting karma for me down the road. And I'm pretty sure I'm right. I took a trunk-load and then the next week, found two pairs of Lilly pants, plus a Dooney and Bourke purse for K at Red, White and Blue.
Another ongoing, but almost finished project, has been going through the absolutely enormous stack of old magazines that had seemingly mated and multiplied in the corner of my closet. Long before Pinterest allowed you to virtually pin cool outfits and recipes and party ideas, I had kept big binders of stuff I had found and torn out of magazines. Of course, in one of those, life is happening spans of time, I had allowed a pretty good stack to start growing. And then, as the stack grew, it became just intimidating. So rather than deal with it, I just let it sit. And grow some more. I'm not finished. I've gotten through pretty much all of the fashion magazines--they're easy. I see it, I like it and I tear it.--but the cooking magazines are so much harder. That involves things like reading ingredients and weighing the relative difficulty of making whatever it is. It's also harder now that television season is winding down. Going through old magazines is an absolutely PERFECT activity when you don't want to JUST watch.
So closet-95% organized. I even have, at this very moment, exactly TWO things sitting next to the ironing board waiting to be ironed. This is a MAJOR accomplishment for me, since it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility for me to have two complete baskets waiting to be ironed. Magazine clean out? About 70% done. I still have to put the fairly sizable stack of awesome things I've found into the pockets in the binders. I've completely cleaned out one storage room and am about halfway done with the other. I'm attacking that tomorrow.
I've stage-managed on high school show. Been to see the other. Saw a friend in a show last weekend. Seeing friends in another on Friday. Have to get through my show in June. And maybe Mimi's if I can get home for it.
I'm setting small goals. I've finally figured that it's the only way to make anything happen. And if, on some days, said goal consists solely of making the bed and hanging up the towel rather than throwing it on top of the hamper? Well, I'm okay with that.
Because Ferris was right. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Another ongoing, but almost finished project, has been going through the absolutely enormous stack of old magazines that had seemingly mated and multiplied in the corner of my closet. Long before Pinterest allowed you to virtually pin cool outfits and recipes and party ideas, I had kept big binders of stuff I had found and torn out of magazines. Of course, in one of those, life is happening spans of time, I had allowed a pretty good stack to start growing. And then, as the stack grew, it became just intimidating. So rather than deal with it, I just let it sit. And grow some more. I'm not finished. I've gotten through pretty much all of the fashion magazines--they're easy. I see it, I like it and I tear it.--but the cooking magazines are so much harder. That involves things like reading ingredients and weighing the relative difficulty of making whatever it is. It's also harder now that television season is winding down. Going through old magazines is an absolutely PERFECT activity when you don't want to JUST watch.
So closet-95% organized. I even have, at this very moment, exactly TWO things sitting next to the ironing board waiting to be ironed. This is a MAJOR accomplishment for me, since it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility for me to have two complete baskets waiting to be ironed. Magazine clean out? About 70% done. I still have to put the fairly sizable stack of awesome things I've found into the pockets in the binders. I've completely cleaned out one storage room and am about halfway done with the other. I'm attacking that tomorrow.
I've stage-managed on high school show. Been to see the other. Saw a friend in a show last weekend. Seeing friends in another on Friday. Have to get through my show in June. And maybe Mimi's if I can get home for it.
I'm setting small goals. I've finally figured that it's the only way to make anything happen. And if, on some days, said goal consists solely of making the bed and hanging up the towel rather than throwing it on top of the hamper? Well, I'm okay with that.
Because Ferris was right. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Am I the only one who has these vast periods of your life where it feels like everything is moving sin a speed that resembles double fast-forward? In the past couple of weeks, I've realized that my life has felt like that since...September, maybe? It feels like yesterday that I was packing to go to Walt Disney World for vacation. I was getting dressed the other day and I put on something and thought that it felt like something I wear ALL THE TIME and then I realized that I hadn't worn it since back in September when I wore it the day I did the American Idol Experience show at Hollywood Studios. So, really, life has been FLYING. I also realized, as I pulled out my spring and summer clothes, that I am pretty much at the limit of what I consider to be my maximum density. I did a show. I'm doing a show. I am going through a massive cleaning and reorganizing. I have a million things going on. I may be going through a fashion readjustment and resettlement. I've become obsessed with cooking, especially the trying new things part of cooking. I am also obsessed with Zumba, which is the absolute most fun one can have while exercising. I sprained my ankle three weeks ago and it's still kind of wonky.
So...weird life upheaval time is happening. I have no idea.
OMG, y'all.
Am I the only one who has these vast periods of your life where it feels like everything is moving sin a speed that resembles double fast-forward? In the past couple of weeks, I've realized that my life has felt like that since...September, maybe? It feels like yesterday that I was packing to go to Walt Disney World for vacation. I was getting dressed the other day and I put on something and thought that it felt like something I wear ALL THE TIME and then I realized that I hadn't worn it since back in September when I wore it the day I did the American Idol Experience show at Hollywood Studios. So, really, life has been FLYING. I also realized, as I pulled out my spring and summer clothes, that I am pretty much at the limit of what I consider to be my maximum density. I did a show. I'm doing a show. I am going through a massive cleaning and reorganizing. I have a million things going on. I may be going through a fashion readjustment and resettlement. I've become obsessed with cooking, especially the trying new things part of cooking. I am also obsessed with Zumba, which is the absolute most fun one can have while exercising. I sprained my ankle three weeks ago and it's still kind of wonky.
So...weird life upheaval time is happening. I have no idea.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
This is a test....this is only a test.
So, just before Christmas, my computer decided that it was going to do something wonky. I don't know what it was, but it happened right before I went home to Alabama. So I didn't make any plans to fix it then. And when I got back, I went right into dress rehearsals for Pirates of Penzance. So I didn't make any plans to fix it then. Again. The point is that in the meantime, I have been using my iPad to do anything that needed doing. Of course, that meant that it was almost impossible to type very much. Although I DID type the entire James Spann/ABC/tornado rant on it, but really that was more possible due to my pure rage than anything else. So since I really like the convenience of my iPad (the thing is practically miniature) and it has all of my games on it, I ordered this handy dandy keyboard which connects to my iPad via bluetooth. I am typing on it now. I just wanted to see how it worked. It does. I kind of want to marry this thing now.
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